19 Guidelines for Self Love – Excerpt from Dear God, How Can I Finally Love Myself?
by Barbara Rose, Ph.D
The following guidelines are here for you to refer back to any time you start to feel down about yourself and your life. They will continue to remind you of your active role in your own personal transformation concerning how you view yourself and the self-love that you feel. They are phrased in first person to help you integrate them, as they continue to remind you of your truth at all times and under all
1. I am in this life to live according to what feels true for me alone. I listen to myself, my heart, and I stop allowing myself to be ordered around by others, now.
2. When I am asked to do something that I really do not want to do, I say no. If the person asks me why, I simply say that I do not feel comfortable with it or do not feel up to it.
3. I remove myself from any person or situation that is abusive and hurtful.
4. When someone tries to tell me what I can and cannot do, I thank them for their perspective and let them know in words and actions that I am the only one who can make my decisions for me.
5. Every day I look in the mirror at least two times and tell myself three good qualities about myself based on my observable actions.
6. I remind myself that my worth has nothing to do with my outward circumstances. I know I can change any outer circumstance I feel unhappy about with my decision to change it. If I cannot change the
actual circumstance, I know I can always receive the higher perspective about it, which will then transform my feelings to understanding and inner peace.
7. Every time I compare myself to people I admire, I remind myself that I have those same qualities within me, and I get excited about bringing out that part of myself in my life.
8. I do only what I feel comfortable doing with respect to any area of my life.
9. I ask myself what I would most love to express in terms of my life direction and purpose. I get in touch with what inspires me, and then I follow through with my actions.
10. I do writings to God, as I personally understand Him or Her to be, and ask for guidance any time I feel uncertain about any situation in my life, and I ask for guidance so I can move forward in the most
11. I remember that there is no such thing as competition. Every person can express his or her own best, and so can I.
12. I express everything in my life from my heart because it brings me joy.
13. I follow my gut feelings and inner knowing at all times, and never allow anyone to steer me away from my truth.
14. I immediately stop all negative comments to and about myself. When a negative thought comes up in my mind, I acknowledge that it is simply an old, conditioned, negative thought, and I replace it with a
statement of truth about myself.
15. I stop trying to mold myself into what I think others want me to be, and bring out the courage to be and express who I really am.
16. I share my life’s circumstances only with people who are positive and fully supportive of me.
17. I stop discussing my life’s problems with people whose shoes I would never want to see myself in.
18. I release all blame on others about my life circumstances, and from this moment forward take personal responsibility to create the life I love to live, one moment at a time.
19. I stop trying to get other people to understand me if they do not understand. Instead, I simply allow them their view while I continue to do what feels true for me, as long as it brings no harm to anyone.
© Copyright 2006 Barbara Rose, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved. Excerpt from
the book Dear God, How Can I Finally Love Myself?