What’s a codependent? The answer’s easy. They’re some of the most
loving, caring people I know.
We don’t need to limit an inventory of ourselves to the negatives.
Focusing only on what’s wrong is a core issue in our codependency.
Honestly, fearlessly, ask: “What’s right with me? What are my good
“Am I a loving, caring, nurturing person?” We may have neglected to
love ourselves in the process of caring for others, but nurturing is
“Is there something I do particularly well?” “Do I have a strong
“Am I good at being there for others?” “Am I good as part of a team,
or as a leader?” “Do I have a way with words or with emotions?”
“Do I have a sense of humor?” “Do I brighten people up?” “Am I good
at comforting others?” “Do I have an ability to make something good
out of barely nothing at all?” “Do I see the best in people?”
These are character assets. We may have gone to an extreme with
these, but that’s okay. We are now on our way to finding balance.
Recovery is not about eliminating our personality. Recovery aims at
changing, accepting, working around, or transforming our negatives,
and building on our positives. We all have assets; we only need to
focus on them, empower them, and draw them out in ourselves.
Codependents are some of the most loving, caring people around. Now,
we’re learning to give some of that concern and nurturing to
Today, I will focus on what’s right about me. I will give myself
some of the caring I’ve extended to the world.
(c)1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of
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