The Rewards of letting go
A recent awareness prompted me to see that by not letting go of my sexaholic husband’s past behaviour, I am remaining a victim. By constantly reviewing his behaviours in my mind, I continued to feel betrayed. I asked myself, “Why am I holding on for so long? And at what cost to me?” When I refuse to let go of the past, I lose many hours of potential serenity. I felt stuck in fear, anger, resentment, and bitterness.
In working the Twelve Steps of S-Anon, I gradually began to open up to new ideas: How could I be of service to the relationship today? What positive behaviours and actions of my husband could I acknowledge, just as he is, in our relationship today? In changing my attitude, I am making room for compassion and intimacy. I am letting go of the illlusion that I have control over his choices and that I have the right to punish him for past choices. In choosing to live one day at a time and by letting go and letting God take care of my pain, fear and anxieties; I am becoming a stronger, healthier human being. I have a chance of having an intimate relationship with my husband, and am moving closer to loving myself and experiencing serenity.
We have to surrender our will and lives over and over again. Now, in all times of emotional disturbance and indecision we can pause, get quiet and in that stillness let go of our problems and worries. We can have the confidence that we have an ever-present help in times of need.”
S-Anon Twelve Steps, p. 29