HONEST OPEN MINDED AND WILLING = H.O.W
I would like to share something that has freed me from bondage of self and allowed me to know serenity. It is something that I have heard time and time again in meetings, but didn’t really pay much attention to unless I was absolutely dying inside.
When I was so miserable inside myself (even in recovery) that I couldn’t stand to live in my own skin, when suicide became an option, I would finally turn to my Higher Power. I would get some relief from the pain. But for some reason, after I began to feel better, and I always did, I turned back to Self and inevitabley I ended up in misery again.
What was it that kept me from continuing on that spritual path? Some say it is because I am an addict; and I am, by virtue of that fact, selfish and self-centred by nature. But did I listen? Nope! I had to learn it by experience, my own experience.
I am a great one for taking surveys. I got into the Programme and began immediately asking people how they “did it”! What did they do to not only stay abstinent but live a happy life? That’s what I wanted for me.
Every one of the people I talked to are on an active and ongoing “spiritual path” of some kind. Some go to shurch regularly and some don’t. Some meditate and pray a lot; some read pages 85, 86, 87 and 88 in the Big Book every day; some do other things. But they all continue an active and ongoing search for information relating to their own HIgher Power. They are all Honest, Openminded and Willing.
Why have I ignored this cliche in the past? I don’t know. But I do know that since I have kept up my own ongoing spiritual journey, my life has improved. .My world could be crumbling around me (and it has) and it doesn’t seem to affect my serenity level. It only inspires me to do more.
I took an inventory on all this, and I found that my spiritual quest was very sporadic. When I put it down for a while, I was miserable. When it became the most important thing in my life and the most constant thing in my life, I became happier.
The Fellowship is a huge part of my spiritual path, because it not only offers me new information and understanding, but it allows me to share it with others.
From “Stepping Stones to Recovery”.