Children watch us more than they listen to us
This is a very detailed and comprehensive book about understanding your child and disciplining them in a way that encourages teaching and learning and not punishing and rewarding. It is a far removed approach from how I was disciplined and even the way I disciplined my now grown up children. I particularly like the message that is on more than one page “work with a child – not against.
The author mentions the definition of discipline as found in the Oxford dictionary as being “The practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour using punishment to correct disobedience. I am pleased to say that this book does not follow that example.
Some subjects discussed that stood out for me were the section on sleep and the graph showing the average sleep a child should have based on their age, within a 24 hour period, Sensory overload as well as the importance of a good diet.
I feel that the author’s practical style of explaining gentle discipline in a way that we can all understand and follow. It is about mutual respect for your child and your child having mutual respect for you and allows for the balance of power. An example she gave was with her own children and how through communicating correctly and being patient and empathetic to them, you can often negotiate and work out the best solution and a suitable outcome for both of you. This does in no way mean you are going to be a pushover or let them get away with things, it just means more tolerance and understanding, based on their emotional skills that are appropriate for their age and ability to understand.
There is a lot of reference to specialists such as Jean Piaget and the “Schemas” as well as Maslow (A child’s hierarchy-including diagram). Other examples include Schemas in child early development, ToM (Theory of mind), and the Vark model (the 4 styles of learning – Auditory, verbal, visual and kinesthetic).
I bought this book mainly to understand some of the more complex subjects and I am very pleased that this book included a section on the ones I wanted to understand in more detail, these include PDA, Asperger Syndrome, Adhd, ODD, and ASD.
This is an amazing book and I would strongly recommend it to any parent/grandparent, regardless of their child’s age or even if they have children themselves. It is a practical book for anyone interested in the subject of child discipline and this book covers everything that you could possibly want to know.
The Gentle Discipline Book: How to raise co-operative, polite and helpful children)