3 cups Tenderness
1 cup Commitment
1 cup Consideration
1 cup Courtesy
2 cups Unselfish support
2 cups Milk of human kindness
1 gallon Faith in God and in each other

Add:

2 cups — Praise
3 cups — Cooperation
1 small pinch of in-laws
1 realistic financial budget
3 T pure extract of “I am sorry”
1 cup Contentment
2 cups of open and honest communication
1 cup each: Confidence, Encouragement, Supportive friends, Blindness to each other’s faults, Individual interests and hobbies

Mix in: Several mutual activities and hobbies.

Flavor with occasional tokens of your love and a dash of happy memories.

Stir well and remove any specks of temper, jealousy, or criticism.

Sweeten well with a generous portion of love and keep warm with a steady flame of devotion.

Never serve with a hot tongue or cold shoulder.

After twenty years of shaving himself every morning, a man in a small
Southern town decided he had enough. He told his wife that he intended
to let the local barber shave him each day. He put on his hat and coat
and went to the barber shop, which was owned by the pastor of the
town’s Baptist Church. The barber’s wife, Grace, was working that day,
so she performed the task. Grace shaved him and sprayed him with lilac
water, and said, “That will be $20.”

The man thought the price was a bit high, but he paid the bill and
went to work. The next morning the man looked in the mirror, and his
face was as smooth as it had been when he left the barber shop the day
before.

Not bad, he thought. At least I don’t need to get a shave every day.
The next morning, the man’s face was still smooth. Two weeks later,
the man was still unable to find any trace of whiskers on his face. It
was more than he could take, so he returned to the barber shop.

“I thought $20 was high for a shave”, he told the barber’s wife, “but
you must have done a great job. It’s been two weeks and my whiskers
still haven’t started growing back.”

The expression on her face didn’t even change, expecting his comment.
She responded, “You were shaved by Grace and once shaved, always
shaved!”

Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later.

At the séance, she called out, “John, John, this is Martha. Do you hear me?”A ghostly voice answered her, “Yes Martha, this is John. I can hear you.”

Martha tearfully asked, “Oh John, what is it like where you are?”

“It’s beautiful. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most of the time.”

“What do you do all day?” asked Martha.

“Well, Martha, we get up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, and there’s nothing but making love until noon. After lunch, we nap until two and then make love again until about five. After dinner, we go at it again until we fall asleep about 11 p.m.”

Martha was somewhat taken aback. “Is that what heaven really is like?”

“Heaven? I’m not in heaven, Martha.”

“Well, then, where are you?”

“I’m a rabbit in Arizona.”

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the man’s feet.
“Try pulling the tongue out,” offers the clerk.“Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” he says.

At the first house a woman complained, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.” The older doctor said, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick?”

As they left the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine that woman. How’d you come to your diagnosis so quickly?”

I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick.

“Huh,” the younger doctor said, “Pretty clever. I think I’ll try that at the next house.”

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with an elderly woman. She complained that she just didn’t have the energy she once did. “I’m feeling terribly run down lately.

“You’ve probably been doing too much work for the church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”

As they left, the elder doc said, “Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?”

“Well, just like you at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope. When I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed.”

Start with a cage containing five monkeys. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana.

As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water.

After a while, another monkey will make an attempt with the same response – all of the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Keep this up for several days.
Turn off the cold water. If, later, another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it even though no water sprays them.

Now, remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one.

The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm.

Replace the third original monkey with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.

After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs.

Why not?

“Because that’s the way it’s always been done around here.”

http://www.wowzone.com/5monkeys.htm

From the book “The Hundredth Monkey” by Ken Keyes, Jr.