Buddhists cultivate compassion through a meditation practice known as the “metabhavana” or “loving kindness meditaton”. This involves sitting silently with eyes closed for about 20 minutes while succesively bringing to mind someone you find it easy to love, then someone toward whom you feel indifferent, then someone you find difficult to love, and finally yourself. Ironically, people often find this last stage the most difficult of all, but unless we can love ourselves, it is impossible to really love others – because in Truth we are all One.
1. First focus your thoughts on someone whom you find it very easy to love –
a friend parent, child, lover, anyone at all.
Concentrate on the feelings that you experience when you become aware of how much you love that person.
Remember times you have shared when you have felt particularly full of love. Bathe in the love that you feel.
2. After about five minutes bring to mind someone to whom you are indifferent – a stranger you pass in the street each day, a colleague at work, the postman, anyone toward whom you do not particularly feel anything at all. Consider that he or she is a sentient being, just like you, who experiences all the joys and suffereing of life.
Remember that even our best friend was once a stranger like this person is now. Open your heart and extend your feelings of loving kindness to embrace this person also.
3. After about five minutes bring to mind someone whom you have exiled from your heart – someone with whom you have quarreled, someone who you feel has wronged you, anyone who you find it difficult to love. Remember how easy it is for all of us to act badly and consider that everyone has his or her side of the story. Sense this person’s true Self, which, although it may be trapped within a dysfunctional personality, is al goodness and is crying out to be recognized. Extend your feelings of loving kindness further and take this person also into your heart. Do not criticize yourself if you find it difficult, but gently work to bring down the barriers that keep your heart closed.
4. After about five minutes turn your attention to yourself and surround yourself with loving kindness. Reach out with your heart to yourself as if you were comforting your closest friend or most intimate lover. Wish yourself well. Honor what is good in you and forgive yourself for all your failings.
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